I Must Have Every.....
I must have every self-help, DYI, “How To” book on health and spirituality. I have taken countless workshops. The idea of passing along another lecture or doing a workshop just tires me out!
There are many roads to Mecca, paths to God, diets, and practitioners to point the way. I am only one Way Shower and my sincerest hope is that there is something in my story that will strike chord with you and we can then begin the journey together to discover where you are, and what is your deepest wish for yourself, your life and your world.
I'm not going to tell you anything. You tell me.
What's holding you back, standing in the way, preventing you from stepping into the life you want?
Awareness if the first key to unfolding a path into Well Being: I mean Well Being in every sense of the word. I don't mean fixing anything. I mean revealing your juicy core, your true authentic self, your mission, your passion, and your light. Whether that means unraveling the traumas that have brought you the fine suit of amour you currently wear: defensive words, thoughts, and a body you don't like or trust. And it's not your fault!
I know everyone says you have to take 100% responsibility but that doesn't mean beating yourself up. Everyone has their own rhythm and style, their own timing, and their own unique signature that makes them who they are and beyond those experiences and labels is freedom!
If you start from the resistant point you will get more resistance. It's just the way the universe works. It's the separation of judgments, anger, fear that are the pain points. We get to tame them like a wild tiger. No poking and provoking.
I am going to tell you my story briefly. I am going to share with you the tools I gathered in my journey that helped me. You may have more to contribute and I will have a resource page for further investigation. But for right now I will tell you a story about Mary:
I was born in the USA to two educated fairly sophisticated parents who were deep into their own realities: mum into God and Dad into business. We lived in an affluent neighborhood in a small town. I went to public school, suffered incest from a grandparent, and was very precocious later to be very promiscuous: during my 20's (goes with the territory of sexual abuse).
I neither knew I was beautiful nor knew I was smart. I did poorly in school. I cried a lot! While I matured into a very smart and beautiful girl, inside I felt "bad!" I felt worthless and a failure. No matter how hard I tried to please my parents and then the multitude of boyfriends, I felt like the portrait of Dorian Gray: one day the rottenness would come outside for all to see.
That never happened.
I went through my 30's being a married woman for 5 years. I tried marriage three times with no good result. I gave birth to an absolutely stunning human being, who today is living a successful life in a committed relationship.
What lingers? The sense that somehow my sexuality is broken, although I am well past menopause and have been single for almost 18 years! I took a vow to be celibate and I dream that I am celibate and I feel free being celibate. Not for everyone, but good for me!
I love myself now. It' took almost 70 years! From the time I was 41 years old to now I made a heartfelt pledge to "Get To God No Matter What!" I tried everything: Holotropic breath work, Dynamic Meditation, Tantra (non sexual) Shamanic Journey Work - with and without plant medicine, massage, hypnotherapy, permaculture, traveled to exotic places, and met scores of interesting people.
What stuck with me was my desire to know God and came face to face with myself.
I think the most influential and transformative practices and experiences have been being part of the Birth of The Universal Human with Barbra Marx Hubbard; Moving to New Zealand and studying at Wellpark College of Natural Therapies - Yoga, Yoga Therapy, Ayurveda, Ho'opponoppono The Huna Science of radical forgiveness and compassion, and my horse.
In fact, my horse has probably been the most profound healer and spiritual teacher of them all!
That's me in a nutshell. I am a human being. I have discovered that this body, my story, and all that I do, do not scratch the surface of Who I Am at Source. Because I’ve shared my words, my pain and my joy, because we chosen to be here in our duality, our separateness, I want to extend my hand and say: there was never anything wrong with you/me, you are beautiful beyond measure. Take my hand and I'll lead you to your own true vision of Self.
I can't do this on my own. I need us to become aware: to see and feel so that we can agree on the kind of world we want to live in as sovereigns. We have created every facet of this moment and only in this moment is there the opportunity to do anything at all about that experience as the Creators. Love is the only thing that moves or changes anything. Starting with Self.
I am going to outline what steps I took. As I said before, you may have many more to ad. It is important that you do this journey in your own unique flavor and you own true way. I can't do this for you, but I can encourage and inspire you towards your own personal visions
First of all, lets investigate:
Where am I now?
A. Take time to describe how you are feeling, your judgments joys thoughts on your self. Tell me your story briefly here.
Physical State of Being Now: Health Assessment
Who am I truly without judgment and labels and criticism?
You can draw, you can do a vision board, or write. You can sing! Be creative!!!
Who am I?
Get quiet and let the answers come. Look in a mirror and gaze at yourself. Take a big piece of paper and colors and draw your essence.
4. What is my mission?
5. If I could wave my Magic Wand what would I change?
6. What am I supremely happy with about myself and my situation: describe what works and want doesn't work. (Make a T cross on a big piece of paper and first write down what doesn't work on the left and what does work on the right.)
I'd love to see pictures, hear your voice, meet you in person or on the internet. What ever works for you. I want to connect with you, and feel you, and know you. We are like super sleuths collaborating on discovering the Mystery of YOU. You've got an ally, a friend, and companion on this journey. I can't walk it for you but I can definitely support you in the way you see yourself going forward (and even in the stuck places!). Especially in the stuck places cuz that's where the treasure lies!
A program for and about you. A Journey of Self Discovery and and Unveiling of You, Your Essence, Your Unique Gift to Your World. Thank you for coming into my life. I know that the time we spend together is precious and valuable. I look forward to taking you into my hearth.
Mary L. Garner