"Let the beauty we love be what we do. " Rumi
My journey started when my mother passed away. She carried a lot of weight as an emotional heart protection from a highly dominant and critical male partner. Once he passed she lost the weight and jumped fully into her spiritual practices and passed 8 years later but with residual effects. She had bowel and then bone cancer. She had Parkinsons.
After two operations to remove the cancer she was on a colostomy bag for a while.
In my distress for not being able to save her I turned to saving myself: OHI I learned about fasting, raw foods, and colonics. I became a colon therapist instructor over the years. I got certifications in massage and hypnotherapy Permaculture Gardening.
My move to New Zealand came with a promise to make my life drama free and have a happy life. It stuck.
I carried weight and shame about my size until one day I decided, "This is not who I am." Yoga and Ayurveda studies and certification took me to a place where the practices were actually changing me and then the body started to speak and get my attention: I had terrible gall bladder and heart burn attacks. I had to pay attention.
It was never about looking good or getting male attention (or female attention). It was about me - the true authentic loving me. Being a large person, over weight and sick was not who I was at my core. In order to be more of who I was beginning to discover myself to be I got to Shine! I just returned to balance, which is what all my practices were leading me to.
The weight just dissolved when I began to listen to my heart call and what I loved: making amazing health giving organic foods and sharing that with friends and family, moving my body and connecting with nature and especially my singing: chanting and connecting with Spirit through singing Holy Name.
There is an elephant in the room. You don't approach it directly but you might go through the process of getting it's attention and then when it (the shit leading to the pony, the trouble, the thing you can't speak about without enraging the elephant) you get it's two eyes, its kind attention, its interest it comes to you.
The simple act of Self Care is one of the most powerful actions a person can take.
There is nothing to do about the bad situation accept acknowledge it and go through due diligence and inquiry without judgement. Be curious. IS it true? HOW can you know it's true and then go inside and see what's calling you for your kind attention. Because all you see on the outside; the weight, the problem, the shit is going to lead you back to the source which is YOU.
You get to create your life the way you want through taking care of Your Self. By this alone you change your world and that of those around you. Be The Change....right?
MLG 29 May 2018
